Adele’s Big Fat Cheek Wedding

Adele-pregnant

Is that wedding bells I hear ringing for Adele? Nope, it’s just someone letting her know that dinner is ready. Adele was rumored to have married her boyfriend and baby daddy Simon Konecki earlier this week, but the worldwide (literally) phenomenon has come out to say that no such thing has occurred. Below is a message she posted via twitter.

I’m not married…Zzzzzzz

“Rumor Has It” (lol…oh, my sides) that Adele has already named her next album. Following her similar numerically named album titles, this one will be called 64. I’m sure many of you are scratching your heads as to why since her previous albums, 19 and 21, referred to her age. Well, this one is a reference to her waist size; though, she may need to adjust it as she expands with child.

Adele first announced her bastard child (they’re not married, you know) on October 29th of last year stating, “I’m delighted to announce that Simon and I are expecting our first child together. I wanted you to hear the news direct from me, obviously we’re over the moon and very excited but please respect our privacy at this precious time. Yours always, Adele xx.”

First your baby and now we have to respect whether or not you had a secret wedding? You’re asking too much, Adele. Apparently the whole fiasco originated from spectator hearsay and photographs of Adele sporting a gold wedding band on her ring finger (size 25). Now that the singer has debunked the rumors it leaves plenty of hope for remaining suitors, who think they can outmatch the whaling skills of Simon Konecki. Gentlemen, prepare your harpoons.

Adele Eating

About NK

I founded Earbuddy to turn you onto excellent music and give fair, unbiased, and honest music reviews. Hit me up on Twitter @earbuddy if you want to chat about music, disagree with what I've written here, or talk about anything else.

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